Miscellany and Musings

Pretty sure this is the result of stress and binge watching Red Dwarf.  I was adventuring with the Red dwarf crew- Kat, Rimmer, Lister, but Kryten was on the ship he wasn't where we were.  Now usually in my dreams I'm always myself, I can recognise my face even if my body is a trim 130 pounds and I have long wavy hair.  This time I was a pretty plump pale girl with really curly red hair and bright red lipstick.  Black shirt, olive green cargo pants.  Like Kim Possible but fat with curly hair and a british accent.  I can't remember what we were doing or what we were looking for, but we split up and Lister and I go off on our own.  Apparently there is more chicken vindaloo to be had where we go and we get as many as we can carry back to the ship an tell the others where to get it and we empty this other ship of their supplies and go back to Starbug.  Cut to Lister's room and things are getting steamy (thank you universe, I've been crushing on Craig Charles since I was 12!!).  I ask him if he's sure he wants me- this chubby redheaded 'git' and he says "Are you kidding? lose your knickers already!"  Apparently this was hysterical because I started laughing and he said sex is always better if you can laugh.  And then the deed goes down (again universe, thank you!!!) and by the time it was over I was ME again.  Kryten was banging on the door and bitching about the noise and then I woke up to go pee.  Haven't had any really memorable dreams in a while. glad this one was a winner.

Can I just tell you how much I hate panic disorder?  Or rather, how much I hate stressing myself out to the point I have panic attacks over a pair of socks at work?  I don't know if it's because I have a ton of extra energy from the diet or if it's because I'm genuinely worried/scared about the endoscopy on Tuesday and the stress test on the 23rd.  I went out to find the facility they're doing the endoscopy in and discovered a big ole outpatient hospital/immediate care center in the middle of literally nowhere.  I feel a little better knowing exactly where it is and I talked to the nurse about the anesthesia. I guess it's just the fear of the unknown.

September 25th I weighed 332 at the dr's office.  Sept 30th I weighed 328 at the hospital for the intake appointment and I started the protein heavy diet October 1st.  I'm down to 321.8 today so that's 6.2 pounds in 11 days!  And I retook my measurements last night.  The first time I measured was 9/6, and in a little over a month, I've lost 4 inches off my waist and 3 off my hips!  I'm so excited!!!  Even without the surgery, I am getting smaller and stronger.  I still think I'm making the right decision, even if it is scary.

This past Tuesday, I went to the hospital to do my initial intake appointment into the bariatric office.  (I forget if I told you guys, and I'm too lazy to actually look, but I'm going to have the sleeve gastrectomy, which is one of the weight loss surgeries available.)  We had to get there at 7 for fasting blood draws- which didn't happen until 9:30. (then why the hell did we have to get there so damn early???)  We met with a dietician/nutritionalist, met with the head nurse over the surgical unit we will be directly dealing with, met with the 'vitals' nurse, then the RN who did a quick physical exam.  Met the lady who fights with my insurance so I don't have to (I think I'm going to get her a christmas gift- seriously she was awesome) and then the lady who handles our vitamins and meal replacement supplements and makes appointments.  the whole staff was incredible and wonderful, and you'd think they were all tiny skinny minnies because of where they were working (and most of them were really tiny, particularly the older dietician) but the head nurse looked like she should be going into surgery with us.  She was tall and wide, very serious face, but she was very nice and not at all intimidating.

I joined a website called BariatricPal.com.  I got a ticker-see?

Why am I starting to lose weight now? because my insurance company says if I gain any more than what I weighed at my initial visit, they won't cover the surgery.  I'm already on my way- can't wait til I finally get there.