Super realistic dream

I was in my Papaw and Granny's kitchen with Joey's godmother Cindy, helping her cook and talking about the baby I was carrying (preggo with #2... here goes this theme again).  I could feel that my belly was bigger and harder up top, just a smidge, and I must've been about 4-5 months along because I could feel the little ball of the womb but baby had yet to move for me yet.  Anyway, I was in mid sentence when I looked up and saw my Grandma.  And I think I was lucid dreaming for a split second because I gasped and knew she was dead and knew she shouldn't be there, but it never occurred to me that we shouldn't be standing in Papaw's kitchen.  Anyway, She was wearing blue jeans and a brown t-shirt, her hair was long again and she was wearing her glasses, just like she would have if she were still alive.  And she looked sad, like she didn't want to be there.  and I was sputtering and trying to say anything to make her stay.  She asked me who Cindy was and I told her, and then I walked around behind her begging her not to leave.  We walked outside to the back yard and she keeps telling me she's leaving and I'm telling her to please stay, to meet Joey and let me name my second baby after her.  She ends up walking along like a power line or something that's over top of the fence line, and I climb up on top of the fence and throw her over my shoulder and carry her back to the house, and I'm crying the whole way because I know she wants/needs to go but I can't let her.  And then I woke up because one of the stupid dogs was barking and that woke Joey up so even though my alarm is set for 9 I was up at 6:30.  I hate that.

Anyway, I just wanted to write it down before I forgot, mainly because she seemed so real to me in the dream, like I even thought 'Wait, this is too real to be a dream!'  Makes me wonder if I saw her ghost or something.  It was pretty disturbing.  And I woke up wanting to cry because I miss her so much (even after 5 years).  Guess I better go on and start my day...