sonjajade | The anger sharks are swimming in my head! (Reply)

Yeah, and I'm totally pissed! So much bullshit goin on today. I haven't been sleeping more than 4 hours at a time, trying to work my sleep cycle back around so I can be up during the day, ya know so's I can hang out with my sister and see my dad, go to the craft store and stock up on all the christmas crap I'll be making... I stayed up until after 7 which was pretty good seeing how I'd gotten up at 9 the night before, so I was up 22 hrs and still only managed to sleep only 4.5. It didn't help that the Gloworm (my mother-in-law Gloria) was screaming through the house all evening asking if I was okay because I had holed up in my room between the hours of 1 and 6 pm, not even coming out to use the restroom or grab a coke. I watched a movie, Jesus Christ Superstar (I LURVE to sing along! even that Pilate guy whom I have to switch octaves like 5 times because he goes too low sometimes) I worked on Dolls 2 (FINALLY worked out something that made sense and have an idea of what direction I want to steer it in) cruised around over at playlist.com and added some more tunes (I posted my playlist in my profile here! Go listen to some tunes with me! COME ON JINXY!! Animal is on there, and so is that beautiful live version of Love of my Life!!) Anyway, things were going good until I laid down to try to sleep. The dog kept getting in and out of bed, Gloworm kept screaming every hour to see if I was okay, Hubs lays down next to me and keeps sighing over and over until I roll over and ask him wtf is his problem... he says he doesn't feel well, so I tell him the same thing he tells me: Sorry to hear that, hope you feel better soon, now STFU. Me and hubs have a love hate relationship... though lately it's been more on the hate side, and my "position in the pack" is unsteady at best since he found the emails and pm's that me and my Viking had been sending back and forth to eachother. He throws that in my face now constantly too, despite him going to see this Susan chick and playing with her children when he refuses to give us a child of our own. I realize though that with our relationship being as it is, a child would not be a good thing to have, but I am insanely jealous anyway. Wish things could back to the way they were before when we first got married... life was so good then. I wasn't agoraphobic and he wasn't an assclown... Damnit I'm rambling again! >_< Anyway, I get up because I'm hungry, and then once I ate I was pretty much up for the day. I decide to install photoshop on Hubs' computer, only to find that for whatever reason it doesn't want to work, and so now I'm sitting here griping and not sure how to spend my evening. I wanted to try to make some fan art, had some more ideas for the Rinucest© universe, as well as a mir/san piece, but now I can't do none of that. And I really don't want to have to pull out my laptop, because my external mouse quit working and there's no way I'm gonna try to draw on a sensorpad. It's bad enough I can't afford one of those mouse pens. That's what I want for christmas but I doubt Santa will get that letter lol.

So. 2 AM and the only thing I've managed to do is read and eat some cold pizza. Maybe I'll just pull out my sketchbook and do some pencil sketches.