Need blurbs for my Big Bang dust jacket image!

Remember last year's big bang dust jacket? Well, I need some for this year, so me and bay115 pulled some of our favorite parts and would like if you guys could give some short reviews based on what you read.  I just need a handful of them, along with what name you'd like me to use to credit you, and a body of work you've written.  Check that link for an example.  Below are the excerpts- have fun! And thanks in advance!

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I'm participating in St. Baldrick's this year!

If you don't know what this is, it's a fundraiser for children's cancer research.  Yes, I am adamant that cannabis is a viable cure for cancers of all kinds, but until the government repeals prohibition, it's not a legal treatment.

So I'm going to shave my head on March 9th to show my support for the children fighting cancer, and using my bravery to raise money for kids who need help now- not when the government decides to legalize the cure. Will you help me reach my fundraising goal? I lowballed my donation amount because I wasn't sure how much I could raise.  Help me surpass that $50 goal!